My Dream Life

It’s Week 2 of Dean Holland’s Quick Start Challenge 2018 and the assignment is to write down what my dream life looks like.

I’m taking a deep breath and getting this in writing for good reasons. It’s not just that my feet are being held to the fire that I am making this a public declaration on my blog. It’s long overdue that I get re-centered on what my dream life looks like.

Whatever plans and dreams I may have had seemed to have gotten de-railed when my mother took a bad fall at 82. She’s 88 as of this writing. I moved back into my childhood home earlier this year at 56 years old to take on the role of primary caregiver. I’m the youngest of 3 sisters and the only one willing to step up.

I stepped up because I wanted to, not because I had to. And it’s truly been one of my greatest challenges in life…physically, mentally, financially and emotionally.

I have no children of my own. I was busy in business in my 30’s and my biological clock didn’t tick until I hit 40. By then, it was a BIG decision to make to birth a child, and I sought counsel from a few older women in my social circle who were childless and had huge lives through their businesses.

Mimi was one of them. Mimi was a published author of 2 books, a corporate speaker commanding $20K+ per gig, and a well-paid consultant. When I sat down with her and told her that I was thinking about having a child, she said something to me that was quite profound at the time.

Mind you, I had been a very successful business person through my entire career…the reason being that I have an inner passion and I’m driven by helping other people.

Mimi said:

“Dana, why would you even think about having a child and forcing yourself to put all your energy into that one person instead of using that energy and giving of yourself to as many people as possible?”

That one single question caused me to become crystal clear that I was not destined to have offspring and my purpose here on earth is to contribute to others.

Over the past 17 years since that conversation, I have gone on to help hundreds of people start and build laptop businesses and my work is only expanding because of the times we’re in. The tools are awesome. The demand is huge. There’s a lot of garbage to sift through.

Mom’s been on Home Hospice since June of this year and the end of her life is imminent. Maybe she has 2 months, 6 months or maybe she’ll linger for a few more years. The doctors can’t assess an individual’s will to live, even when their body is breaking down on them.

Since mom is now bed bound, my full time job includes feeding, providing proper fluid intake, turning her every 2 hours, administering meds, maintaining her personal hygiene, treating her wounds, making her smile and laugh, and getting her to remember my name.

In between everything, I manage her bills, maintain her property, care for her 13 year old Maltese named Cookie, and try my best to take care of myself, my business and my relationship.

I started my online business so I could care for my mother.

With her current state…a slow decline…I’ve been thinking more and more about what my life will look like after her passing.

Just 5 years ago, the dream life I defined is the life I am living today.

Now it’s time to re-design my future.

 

 

 

 

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